Have any of you ever asked yourself the question, “ Why Me?” after being on the receiving end of a rejection slap that you didn’t see coming or couldn’t clearly understand where the rejection was coming from. We have a tendency to move right up the ladder of inference and start asking ourselves every question you can think of. What did I do? How did I bring this on? When did I do what I am being accused of? Why Me?”
If you raise your hand, and I have mine high above my head, welcome to the club. Yes, rejection truly can be painful. It can be incredibly unfair, unjust, undeserved, unnerving, extremely painful and debilitating if you let it.
I recently had a rejection experience in my life that motivated me immensely. I was left bitter and angry after the rejection. Was I sad? Absolutely. Was I hurt? You bet I was hurt. I don’t know a person if only temporarily, that doesn’t feel a part of their heart breaking from being rejected. I asked myself every question I could think of, what? why? how come? The questions seemed to build on themselves and create more questions.
The rejection experience drove me, feed me, tweaked me and eventually lead me to a defining moment when I had to decide what I was going to do about this rejection hurt. I realized I needed to embrace the rejection experience and put it out there for the world to see. I had to make peace with it and move past it to go forward.
A rejection experience can be damaging if not worked through. Also, it can be a heart, soul, and mind-opening pathway, as you discover there are, “Two Sides to a Pancake”. I embraced my rejection and turned it into a tremendous motivator.
As the process of understanding the rejection, unfolded, I came to recognize that I needed to increase my self-regulation and heightened my personal self -awareness. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on which side of the Pancake I was on at any given moment. I needed to check in emotionally. I had to control my emotions, so I wouldn’t end up going over the top and responding poorly and create regrets, which I did end up doing.
The rejection created a new unexpected outcome and through that experience a life-changing event and outcome. The process involved a bit of, “Self-Reflection, “and a personal “ Self-Discovery” process that resulted in a new sense of “ Self-Awareness” and Self-Acceptance.
There are over 250 + Self Prefix words in the English language. At times during a “Rejection Motivation” event, The multitude of ” Self” prefix words tend to surface for deep personal assessment and evaluation. Rejection can be incredibly life changing if understood, accepted and you allow for forgiveness. The rejection can be an extremely effective motivator and a catalyst for a new path in life.
The real trap, I discovered, was how I saw myself. I needed to make peace with the issue and accept what was handed to me and not create a debilitating “ Self-Rejection”, anchor. I needed to recognize that small voice and not buy into the rejection. I needed to accept the rejection and work my way through it. If someone accuses you, criticizes you, rejects you, abandons you or neglects you, don’t get drawn into creating a “ Self- Rejection Trap”, that leads to an anchor, making it more difficult to move past.
Being consciously alert to the emotional flare-ups and not buy into the “Self- Rejection” thinking will dissolve the risk of creating a “ Rejection Anchor “.
There is no greater enemy to our spiritual life and wellbeing than “Self-Rejection. It contradicts the sacred voice that we all have within us that wants us to receive and accept that we are, “ Loved, Strong and Capable”. Self- Acceptance constitutes the core truth of our existence.
When captured, controlled, accepted and forgiven, rejection can be an incredible motivator. It can propel you forward at a pace that you may not have ever experienced or may not have in a very long time.
A newfound, “ Rejection Motivation” can truly provide you with unlimited Energy, Confidence, Courage, and Endorphin rushes that can move you forward and push you past the goals that seemed insurmountable an only few days before.
Here are 5 outcomes and potential motivators to move past a “Rejection Crush” event.
Rejection motivates us to do better and reevaluate ourselves.
When rejection comes at us, it can signal that we are doing something or not doing something, or we need to stop doing something or we need to start doing something. By calmly reflecting and assessing the situation. We may figure out what the new emotional zap of rejection is doing on our path. Rejection is an opportunity to look at ourselves and create a chance to grow and learn as a person. The lessons we learn from rejection can be applied to many areas of our life.
Rejection can lead us to explore different paths.
Rejection can be a signal we need to look at a different path to get where we may want to be going. Maybe the path we’re trying to take truly may be wrong for us, and we can’t see it until we are hit hard with a “Rejection Motivation” event. It could be possible there’s a better way and we just haven’t realized it yet. Rejection can be a positive experience if you’re willing to take another road or try a new way path of achieving the same thing or something different.
Rejection creates opportunities for change.
Have you ever said or heard someone say, “I would never have found this job or met this person if it wasn’t for being turned away or rejected from something? Rejection can be a powerful tool for analyzing why we do the things we do and how we show up in this world. Rejection or being rejected can also be a great tool for “Self-reflection “and introspection and help us understand the reasons why we go after certain things, people, jobs, or situations. By taking the time to listen to ourselves about these things, the possibility for happiness increases and we become more confident in ourselves and more trusting in our intuitive self.
Rejection can create a new way of looking at things.
We all at times get a case of tunnel vision. We focus on one goal, one person, or one dream and exclude everything else. Rejection can give us a time to pause, reset and take another look at our anticipated outcomes and how we are trying to meet them. The idea is to take look around with new fresh eyes and consider new ways of getting to the same goal, but more aware of what the goals and dreams are.
Rejection shows us who we can count on
Rejections can show us who are true allies are. In the seemingly dark, gloomy days of after being rejected, there are people in our lives who will help us stand up again and possibly even give us other opportunities to consider. Be thankful for them and reach out to them. No one likes or welcomes a “No” if you are were so hoping to get a “Yes”. We need to remember rejection is a part of growth. To truly develop to our full potential as a person, we must experience rejection and get through it. Rejection helps to show our weaknesses and our strengths. Rejection as a motivator teaches many lessons and can lift us up to new heights we never imagined.
If you have ever failed or been rejected, you may have experienced the feeling of becoming bitter. What we choose to do with what we are handed in life, is our choice, is up to us. I can choose to become BETTER and understand my self or create an anchor and not move.. What do you think? What is the best path for you after a rejection event ? The choice is yours.
” Hozho Harmony to you.”
All the best