How many of you have been told you are getting too emotional or you are too emotionally involved with a situation? How many of you have been told you need to, “ Let it Slide,” “Let it go,” “ Get past It,” “ Get over it “?. How much of your emotional situation or your involvement is affected by your attitude or belief surrounding your need to be in control,?
Do you have a tendency to create drama or chaos in your life as a way to stay in control and self-regulate. Do you have a difficult time trusting people? Are you a perfectionist and have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others.? Are you holding on to the illusion of needing to create a bit of chaos to tell your story of ” How you do it” ? Do you change what is taking place in the present moment to redirect a conversation that fits your needs and wants ?
We all need to be “ Awake “ and strengthen our ability to be in the present moment and self -regulate our selves in our daily lives. Most importantly we need to attend to our everyday situations and how we react to what is handed to us and learn to deal with it. By being in the present moment and interacting and reacting with other people in the present moment, we provide a deeper awareness of our place in this world and reduce the amount of “Drama” in our lives.
Eckhart Tolle, stated it well, “When you are ” NOT “ honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, ” YOU “ are creating drama.” You can and should aspire to be a constant and ” Present Moment Actualizer “, and be awake and consciously alert to where you are at any given moment. Are you creating the drama in your life by not being present? Are you looking to get noticed or have a need for excitement around yourself and aren’t even aware what you are doing ?.
We can minimize the drama within ourselves. We can also become more attentive, calm, present and focused, with the world around us and in our daily life. By detaching from the negativity, and the noise that dances around inside our heads, we can be better equipped to embrace life and reduce negativity entirely. We can set ourselves free and not be anchored to any emotional issue by pushing positive energy and receiving positive favorable situations and bring positive people to our lives.
Here are 5 ways to Stop the ” Drama” and be ” Present.”
1.- Change how you look at things, adjust your perspective surrounding the issue.
A lot of the drama in our life is centered in our minds, and what keeps surfacing in our head. We can become intensely immersed in a challenging situation and not even recognize it. We need to understand if this a genuine threat or a simple work through issue. There are, “Two sides to a Pancake’ ” and more than a single way to look at issues in our lives. We can choose to look at a situation from different Perspectives and sort out the information and reduce the “Drama” in our lives.
Once we recognize we are getting overwhelmed by a situation, we need to step back, slow down, and realize this feeling isn’t permanent, and that very few issues truly are. We can focus on moving forward and taking the appropriate actions to get ourselves under control and not become controlling and create a manageable amount of drama surrounding the issue and work at creating a solution.
2. – Be tuned in, alert and consciously aware of our everyday life
Be attentive to the here and now. Be present in every moment. Truly value and accept your place on this planet. Open up to the possibility of having ” Right Now.” The past indeed ” isn’t real; it is gone, the future isn’t real; it hasn’t arrived “. All we honestly have is the here and now. This very minute is all we are truly guaranteed; we need to make the most of it and be fully alive and in the present.
3. . – Change your”Self Talk” Accept who you are and don’t take things so personally.
Rise above the noise and stop worrying. Kick out the self-inflicted negativity and try and see the good, purposeful, kind intentions of the situation you are in. We have enough ” Drama” in our lives every day, no need to create more chaos to add to the amount we already have in our lives.
One approach should be to stop taking things so personally. Drama can manifest itself at times in our lives when we lack self confidence and are carry uncertainties that we can’t seem to work through. We increase our ” Self-Doubt ” and potential for ” Drama,” and uncontrolled behavioral responses can surface.
Accept this fact- ( A Tool from the ” BOT- Box of Tools” )” People are going to say, or do, or bring certain things to us that we can’t stop that from happening.” In the course of our lives people are going to cross our path that will be challenging to us, and most likely there is nothing we can do about it.”
By accepting other people, the way they are, we can open up the possibilities of seeing the ” Other Side of the Pancake” the behaviors and words they bring us can be pushed out, and we can increase our, ” Self- Awareness ” and control our, “Drama” and not get taken into there, ” Drama.”
Accept the fact that you have good days and bad days. Some days are harder than others, e. It’s not easy. But we need to practice ” Self – Acceptance” If you find yourself continually being nervous, anxious or disturbed, a self -reflection step back and a reality check may be in order. — and an acceptance reset and reframing may be in order.
4. Stop the Attention Seekers and Compliment Peddlers
” Attention Seekers “– We need to acquire the awareness to embrace and accept some stories that are not over exaggerated and are based on half-truths. By allowing stories that have value and are genuine, authentic and create dialogue and conversation and that ” Drama Free.” Reduce the ” Drama” in our lives. Attention seekers, particularly tell great stories, some that can be dazzling and will dramatize and embellish to anyone willing to listen to the narrative of their stories.
Attention seekers can be the best at playing a victim. They never seem to be wrong, and always seem to be have been wronged by someone else. The act and of receiving sympathy for these people ” Fuels the Drama” for them. They need the attention to feel good and which works for a while until they want and need some more. Nothing is termed as good enough for the attention seeker, especially when it comes to which ” Side of the Pancake” you are on, the attention seeker can play both sides, and then choose an outcome that fits the situation that fuels their ” Drama” to get attention.
“ Compliment Peddlers ” – are continually looking for someone to reaffirm who they are, or who they perceive themselves to be. The need a ” Drama Fix of Self-Deprivation ” to feel good about themselves. Don’t be surprised if they secretly ask you if they see excellent or play the reverse psychology where they say of how bad they look only for you the unfortunate victim to give them a compliment they are wrong since they look good.
5.- Deal with the Drama, and don’t get involved in other peoples, ” Drama.”
Be Present and active in any situation. Be engaged and be present utilize deep listening techniques to creating dynamic communication skills. Reduce your drama and make other people think through and be present not to perpetuate and go on a drama stream.
Most people do recognize the over the top, uncontrolled behavior of the extreme ” Drama Queen,” or the:” Drama King.” Take out the ” royalty” or entitled belief you may have of yourself and take a good look at yourself and ask if this is ” Drama” behavior is okay.
Sometimes when you’re experiencing a lot of drama, talking about what is going on with someone you trust, can give you a genuine, and authentic feedback. By addressing the drama head-on, you can lessen the weight in your life.
Final thoughts, many people cross our paths everyday, that lead lives that are fueled by the drama, they do not Self-Regulate and are not Self -Aware of their behavior. We do meet people who have never had a catastrophic event in there lives, but when they present themselves or communicate with you, they tend present themselves to you as if everything at is critical and urgent. The stories become continuous blame or rationalization for every wrong thing that happens to them.
There is something wrong when someone elevates their status above others, and foster attention seeking behavior which invariably will cause drama. Be Present and be in control aware and alert, when the ” Drama Queen,” or the” Drama King.” come calling. Make sure you don’t get trapped in their world of stories and drama from the ” Royalty “.
Be present and involved in your life and recognize, I’m only human, remind yourself not to create or engage in drama. If it surfaces, catch yourself, take some fresh deep breaths, and calmly begin to deal with what is actually in front of you and not the Drama or the storyboard from the story being told.
Take care, all the best.
Hozho Harmony to you.